Rocking out at Rokit

At the Rocking Rokit Christmas Do! the combination of blasting Christmas tunes, a snow machine on full and cheap red wine made me feel totally festive. After perusing the vintage wears we left when they run out of wine and rocked up with a trolley of Foster. Foster!

Becky the Bike

After a quick warm up drinky in the Red Lion Theatre Pub or as I like to call it Thub, Rebecca Damm(say it with conviction) and I wondered down to Bobbins Bicycles Boutiques for their official store opening party. For the first time the product was better than the party. The cheap wine and wife beater beer was forgiven as we perused the bowler hat helmets and reflective tweed-covered spats. Bobbins is single hadedly making cycling not hot only but a must do activity. I cant wait until I get my hand on the Skeppshult V-bike with a leather satchel style pannier.

Hat-tastic (Photo courtesy of R.Damm)

Monday I'm in love

I woke up this morning in the eighties. Having rolled out of my red racing car shaped bed I slipped into my new uber comfy elasticated waist, stonewashed jeans told my girlfriend (who I made on my Commodore 64 with a dial up connection) to learn a new gymnastic routine and was ready to face the day.

Bootylicious

I arrived at The Really Really Great Garage Sale held in the car park of Selfridges and was not on the list. Shock horror! I joined the back of the 800 strong queue with not a hope in my heart. 35 mins later I was knocking back mulled wine whilst rummaging random celeb old clobber as they sold their souls for charity.

A number of wines later I was loving it. The reindeer however were not.

Party Planner

Its that time of year when you need to drop a stone in four weeks and find the perfect outfit get attract everyone you want to rut at the office Christmas party.
With over 2000 people in my office I need a super great outfit this year.

Inner monologue - Get rid of that awful tash.
I agree.

Bang Bang Clubbing

Moving on the Punk of SoHo Square to see some good old friends The Bang Bang Club.

Urgh. Im eveill.

Sod shoplifting, verbal abuse or wife beating I did the worst thing in my life ever on my way to work today. I got a strawberry milkshake from Krackdonnalds. Urgh.

Wanksy or Banksy?

Did he really steal it or is it a fake? Who really cared if the alleged Banksy piece was genuine? It was once on the Shorditch Bridge and now is residing above the Green Frog off Carnaby St. I cant wait to see the film that has been made telling the piece's story and see if it actually sold to the highest bidder.

(Photo courtesy of N.Farley)

Happy Halloween

My Halloween was a house warming/Halloween party hosted by Hannah and Barney (personal friends). I went as Jedward. Having to stand by the mirror whenever someone entered was not as much of a mission as I thought it would be. With a Lady GaGa, The Queen Mum, Prom Massacre and the Ghostbusters in tow the party was totally kicking and lasted well into the next day.

Colin is my Dad's name.

At the Jameson's Film Club screening of Colin (the English zombie flick made for £45) held in The Union Chapel the drink flowed like the River Jordan. I know I say that a lot but this time they had poured it into glasses and put them on the massive bar for easy consumption.
The film was great. Amusing and a bit jumpy. Not only did it portray the "journey" from human to zombie but focused on how different groups of people handle a zombie infested city with sometimes hilarious results. Refreshingly brilliant.

See of booze

Evil Ginger.

After popping into the 55DSL Pic+Mix private view, which was intimate and nice I nearly got killed crossing the road by the ugly, bold ginger guy from Eastenders in his giant Range Rover. Max Branning a.k.a. Jake Wood.

Mid giant burp

No meat? WTF.

After a number of prerequisite 241 cocktails at Bar 55 Sara from K Karl Largerfeld, Giles Pearson and I hot footed it to catch up with old chums at Mildreds. No one told me that it was a f**king vegetarian/vegan restaurant. What a con. Overpriced raw veg a cream brulee that was in dire need of some sugar and gelatin were treats not to be missed!
Although the organic wine went down a treat and they served the best double Russian espresso's this side of the Trans Siberian. However a secret trip to the devils drive through(Burger King) was on the cards soon after.

Carnie-tastic.

Even tought the clocks changed I still didn't get a lay in as I had to be up at the crack of dawn to go to the anual Carters Steam Fair Circus Auction. As my first auctio I was giddy with excitment.
After perusing the random collection of lots including entire fairground stalls, circus signage and a lifesize wax work of Queen Elizibeth on her thrown the bidding had started. So with a bag of popcorn we went to buy crap.
And we did. Our lot is a retro Baskins Robbins sign collection. I love carnies.

I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news.

As I did the walk of shame this morning listening to Desree singing "LIfe, oh life, oh life, ooooh life" I thought "Not a truer word said."

Goggle eyed.

So, last night I went to the C.P. Company private view of the Goggle Jacket exhibition at the Royal College of Art. Although the jacket has barely changed visibly in the last 20 years the champagne gushed and never showed any signs of stopping except when we had a momentary fanik (fake-panic) as I chatted with April Schmitt and Alexander Gold from the RCA. The conversation meandered from the death of Jill Dando to long live Mutya by way of sexual abuse on public transport.
Much fun was had by all but not sleep.

(Photo courtsey R.Damm)

Wowwee Zowie!

I finally got to see Moon by Duncan Jones on the big screen last night and I loved it.
Space is cool and the film actually had a real sci-fi story line as well as the ethos of just getting on with it.

(Photo courtesy of R.Damm)

I want them NOWWWWWWW!

So I'm meant to be at the Kandinski Awards but I have Swine/Avian/NoRo/Ubola or something and the only reason I got out of bed was to check I had won some trainers on ebay but I totally got sniped. I thought That was illegal now. Im so P O'ed right now. Well back to bed with more Murder. She Wrote.

It's going to be a black(and glittery) Christmas

It may only be October but the shops are full of Christmas shit already. And I'm buying it.
Paperchase have gone off their rockers this year with the cutest chiwawa and Bambi tree decorations teamed with glittered full size skulls. Total brilliance.

Alas poor Yorick.

F**king Gorgeous!

I got my daily fix of violence, porn and swearing at the Antony Micallef exhibition. Yummy!

Gateaux ver it!

After an astounding trip to the Nettlebed Hospice jumble sale I returned to make the best chocolate gateaux ever for The Bitches of Eastwick with some fab new boots and an awesome Gianni Versace double breasted nautical jacket.

I lurrv the cake.

History Repeating It's Self

In a slight reenactment of last Friday Laura T and I went to Fifty Five Bar for 241 cocktails again. Hitting the floor running with Margueritas and Metropolitans we devised her new band The Savawho and Whats. Their debut single I'm Hungry For Your Nuts will be premiered here soon. After some Espresso Bourbons we moved on to The Black Heart where they had stopped serving cauliflower cheese.

Party like its 20010ish

Birthday drinks for Karis from W.G.S.N lasted 12 hours.
From Fifty Five Bar to Russian Bar with Pit Stops in The Black Heart and The Haggerston.
Highlights included contracting some sort of lergie from Cher, dancing with Jaz to a twenty minuite intro to a song that never started and waking up under a towel in a strange appartment opposite The Old Blue Last.
Good times.

The Handmaids Cocktail.

Drinkng my way through Soho is always fun especially whilst enjoying the sinterlating company of Jodie from Chipped Red Nails Yeah. From Ballans to Lab to The Glass House with a stop over at The Union the cocktails were flowing like the river Jordan. The Espressotini was a particular higlight with the perfect mix of fuleing the fires of enibriation whilst supplying a massive caffine kick.

Jodie was on fine form.

Hair today..Gone Tomorrow

So my hair was right getting on my tits so time for a change. I'm too spontaneous to wait two weeks to have it done by my usual Primrose Hill stylist so I thought I would chance it by going back to the new barbers Sharps in Topman.
If you recall I had a cut from the hammered barber when I was shit-faced at the third floor launch.
Now I have the perfect 80's combination of Corey Haim and Dolf Lundgren from Rocky IV. And I love it.

Monday Monday, can't trust that day!

Monday mornings can be a total drag but not when you're presented with your very own personally signed copy of the new Douglas Coupland.
The lover of one of my associates just happened to be staying at his house in Canada (as you do) and got him to sign me a copy. Much love Mother Fucker.

Loose lips sink ships.

At someones laving do last night upstairs at The Victoria in Mornington Cresent I was hot on the office gossip trail.
I love it when people have a few drinks and decide to purge all the secrets and rumors they have stored up for years to little old innocent, unassuming me. Knolledge is power.

B Store B There

The B Store B Magazine launch held at Kettners was the perfect mix of retro indie tunes, Chambord punch and hotties. Ben Perdue from W.G.S.N. featured in the magazine with a full page facial.

Pretend he just said something really funny!

Not sore after Soar

I sat with Becky from W.G.S.N. at the Tim Sore show after her hard day of papping the trendiest of the trendy at Somerset House.

Me, Becky.

The highlight of the show for me was an awesome 80's boxy shouldered single button linen suit jacket. So Miami Vice, so me. And we sat just behind the legendary Boy George.

Me,George's hat.

Launch at the Haunch.

The Spin launch at Haunch of Venison was dreary. Nothing to see whilst sipping white wine.
However wondering around the gallery without the hordes was tranquil and fun.

Paptastic.

The Brigitte Bardot and the Original Paparazzi photo ehibition closed last night with less than a flurish. The images were intriuging in the fact that you could see so much of the Moss and Shciffer in early Bardot. Creepy, boozy but over.

Wife better?

The Sartorialist's Wife was also in town to showcase her niave illustrations that were somehow linked with Gap!
With the W.G.S.N. Image Team in tow we guzzled down cocktails and giant olives.

Karis, Cher, Jodie and Me

If you happy and you know it sign a book.

I was hanging with Jodie from Chipped Red Nails Yeah as she got her book signed by the miniature and underweling Sartorialist. The champagne flowed but was the only bubbly thing in the room.

Me, Jodie and The Book inscribed "Your name here"

Red wine + beige carpet =!

Dinner party with Mick & Wendy and Sue & Colin was boozy and humerous, especially when Sue got smashed and Colin spilt red wine on the beige carpet. Classic.

Listtastic.

Apparently all 600 people were on the list for the JCDC show. So we ditched and went to the Joiners where I partied hard with Mark, the Creative Director of Smiley Face.

Me, Mark

Shine the shit.

At the opening of Petit Mal you could buy a turd on a chain for £150.

But I found my hair twin who it seemed had also gone and seem the same drunk barber in Topman.

Time and tide wait for no man.

For the first time ever a catwalk show was on time. Ioannis Dimitrousis was missed by many cause he was punctual but that did not stop him eyeing me up in a rather creepy way when we met backstage.

Fatz slag in a cave.

Tits and bling backstage at the Fatzk jewellery and accessories launch. The Opal Lounge grotto made a perfect backdrop for the awesomely religious statement necklaces.

Me and Fatz

No booze no Russell!

As I walked into Reiss on Barrett St. I heard a waiter say that they were on the last bottle of champagne so I grabbed my goodie bag and left.

Do I smell wood?

Grape martinis or Grapetinis slip down like water and thats exactly what they were doing at the Issey Miyake fragrance launch last night.
Hanging with SueBo (a.k.a. Steve Doyle from Buckstyle) in the Conduit St. store discussing the best place to get bow ties I felt my face slipping as the vodka took hold.

Me, SueBo

Topman about town.

Topshop, the biggest shop in the world decided that it wasnt big enough and opened another manswear floor last night. And it was filled with the same old rubbish.
The only new addition is a barbour shop.
Never get drunk and ask a drunk barbour to cut the back of your hair when he doesnt have a mirror to show you it hen he is finished. Especially when they are serving mini pies to you. Way to Sweeny Todd for me.

Emma from W.G.S.N. was on great form as usual.

China may be creative but the books a dud.

The launch for China's Creative Voice book was held in Ping Pong last night and at least half the crowd was only there for the amazing dim sum. Not only was it great but it looked like my hair.

It was awesome to see Usaln again but he was staying away from the food as he had the squits.

The only thing I can say about the book is that my bag is so much lighter without it in there.

I am the one and only.

Whilst you were holed up at home avoiding the rain I had all the attention I wanted at the My Sugarland...Reused and Remade Workshop.
My Sugarland is an awesome shop that combines the best of high end, real vintage and graduate designer clothing and accessories.
The idea was for jewellery designer Bernadette Deddens to showcase her talents and show us how to make beautiful and functional jewellery from old nicknaks and household item.
I arrived to a glass of Rose and owner Zoe Lam talked me through the philosophy of the store. She does not follow trends but gives the best ideas of the season a nod and a wink and then gives the theme a twist of her own.
Not only is the space filled with beautiful items but had an array or curiosities to amuse the eye. Including a porcaline horse and wooden Ramany Gypsy Caravan that have been sold to a Big Issue seller who is paying it off by the week as a Christmas present to his Gypsy girlfriend.
As I was the only person who went to the event all eyes were on me and as requested I had brought a selection of old crap for Bernadette to transfom. And she did.
The one-off bespoke necklace is a combination of old holiday keyrings, Topshop tat, paperclips and chain. Its awesome and even has a function to let you change the length of the piece.
Altogether a great night. I loved being showered with attention and for once it was a pleasure and not a chore to chat in a work related field.

Me,Tetsuo,Bernadette,Zoe

Let's start at the very beginning.

Today we make history. I have been out and about socialising for most of my life and now it is time to put it down for prosperity. This will include the good, the bad and they seriously ugly.